Happy Halloween! A non-Staircasey post for the candy-laden occasion:
According to one of the dodgier surveys I have seen (not that I would ever be the one to say there's anything wrong with making up facts to enhance a story, but something tells me this one was planted by Hershey), you can strategize and optimize your trick-or-treating if you bear in mind that:
Houses with black shutters are 77 percent more likely to hand out Kit Kats.
Trick-or-treaters have a 37 percent greater chance of receiving a Kit Kat from a ranch house.
Those who prefer Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups should focus on ringing the doorbells of two-story houses.
Knock on brown doors if seeking chocolate. Trick-or-treaters have a 32 percent greater chance of receiving a Hershey’s Bar from homes with brown doors.
Meanwhile, in Maryland, Indiana, Illinois, and Louisiana, along with countless cities, towns, and counties across the country, registered sex offenders are required to display a "NO CANDY HERE" sign on their doors on Halloween. In True Confections (pub date is now eight weeks away), when the main character, Alice Ziplinsky, is assigned to the distribution of those signs, she doesn't follow instructions at all.
"Ridiculous surveys that are really advertising campaigns" is a marvelous label. I hope it comes up again. :)
ReplyDeleteNo, seriously. Our governments (would that be local or state) are actually in the business of printing cute signs for sex offenders to post so that no ninjas or princesses ring their bells for candy and maybe get Something Else instead?
ReplyDeleteYes, they are. Note the unsmiling jack o lantern. The narrator of True Confections does not think this is right. Things go badly.
ReplyDelete